I always feel so fortunate to live in Oregon. We have the Bottle Bill and get 10 cents back when we recycle our cans, other people pump our gas, there is no sales tax, and the landscape is stunning. And we can say ‘GAY.’

This week Florida’s governor signed into the law the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. This legislation requires that  school districts “may not encourage classroom discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity in primary grade levels.”

I am curious if anyone who has worked with young children was actually involved in developing this bill or spent any time in early learning environments. Enter a classroom of young children and the topic of conversation centers on what they hold near and dear to their hearts; their identity and their families. And lots and lots of poop talk! They don’t need ‘encouragement’ to start these conversations; they just happen. 

I owned a preschool from 2010 to 2021, in addition I’ve worked in Head Start, a Montessori program, and a Parent-Child Co-op over the past 24 years. These conversations about our lives and the people we read about spring up organically. It’s developmentally appropriate and typical for young children to be interested in how we are alike and how we are different. Their curiosity is never-ending. 

“Miss Teresa, is that a boy or a girl?” in response to a character in a children’s book.

My typical response is to ask the child what they think.

“Well, they have eyelashes and long hair, so they must be a girl.”

“Hmmmm, I know that all the children and grown-ups in this room have eyelashes. That makes it hard to determine. And I know that people can have all sorts of hair. We don’t really know someone’s gender unless we ask them. It’s tricky when we’re reading a book, isn’t it?”

“Miss Teresa, do you have a husband?”

“No, I don’t have a husband. I have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, okay! Did you know I went skiing this weekend? I went so fast!” 

When I created Aspen Academy, one of my main goals was to provide physical and emotional safety, as well as create a welcoming environment for all children and families in our program. As educators, we concentrated on creating environments that were gender expansive and fluid, where children could express a wide range of emotions, interests, and behaviors that fell anywhere along the gender continuum. We strove to affirm all children and allow them to express their interests and find confidence in their strengths. 

An aspect of affirming all children includes recognition and celebration of their unique families. When selecting children’s literature for my classroom, I intentionally selected books with all sorts of families. Families with a mom and a dad, foster families, conditionally separated families (i.e., one parent incarcerated or serving in the military), same-gender parents, children being raised by their grandparents, and many more. This intentional selection of children’s books served to expose children to families like theirs and families different from theirs. These are the building blocks of fostering empathy, creating empowered future allies, and helping children to become comfortable with human diversity. When educators are prohibited from discussing sexual orientation (or as we say in preschool, ‘who we love and who loves us’), this also prevents us from discussing all family types, including ones with mixed-gender parents.

Regardless of personal belief, all families want children to feel happy and safe. Conversations around gender identity or family composition did not involve discussion of sexual activity or behavior. Gender is what is in our hearts and in our minds, not necessarily what is between our legs. 

Ahead of signing the law, DeSantis said teaching kindergarten-aged kids that “they can be whatever they want to be” was “inappropriate” for children.  He said, “It’s not something that’s appropriate for any place, but especially not in Florida.”

I am grateful that in Oregon we support children in developmentally appropriate ways to follow what they know is true for themselves in their hearts and in their minds. In Oregon, we celebrate families. In Oregon, we trust children. 

Resources for Additional Support

Welcoming Schools Book Lists

I spend four days a week around the mask-less. They are not motivated by politics, claims of being anti-government-mandate, or citing the 14^th amendment of the Constitution. They can’t even read. They are 3, 4, and 5-year-olds. They are preschoolers. They are not required to wear face coverings. They are small children who have been in this world for less than 60 months. About half of the children come to school in masks; their skill with them is, well, skill-less.

I’m tired. As the owner of a small preschool program, the past nine months have been exhausting. From closing unexpectedly, trying to secure every possible grant and loan made available to childcares in a pandemic, having to let an employee go and reducing the other’s hours by over half, experiencing hands so dry from sanitizer, bleach, and constant washing that they crack until the bleed, and panicking every time I hear a child or one of their family members is unwell. The list goes on and on. 

My friends and family have always joked that I am a walking germ. I spend my days with folx who are learning to wipe their bottoms, cover their coughs and sneezes, and not pick their noses (and then eat it). With Covid, these hilarious (and disgusting) antics of young children are no longer amusing; they have the potential to be dangerous. I am not a scientist and I realize that child-to-child transmission of Covid is rather low. But they can be carriers. Even if I was blasé about the risks of Covid, anyone who takes it halfway seriously would not want to be near me, even in a mask. Small people sneeze and cough into my masked face. They try to open their lunch containers with their teeth and when unsuccessful, they hand them right to me to open. 

There are two of us working in my program this year. We have one sub. One. We are balancing on such a fine line every damn day. If either of us gets a fever, unexplained cough, or any of the many Covid symptoms, and that ONE sub is not available (who has 3 children of her own and who she is schooling at home this year), we CANNOT be open. And we CANNOT be open for days. 

I did not camp with friends this summer. I live in the same town as my parents. I have not hugged my dad since February. I’ve hugged my mom twice since March, and both times, it was more of a ‘well fuck it, we should just hug.’ I’ve seen a few dear friends for socially distanced meals at homes, usually outside and masked until we are eating. I have not dined in a restaurant since early March; everything is delivered or take-out. I did not float the Deschutes River during our hottest days; too crowded. Our annual family reunion was canceled, the one time of year I see half of my relatives. I chose to teach my University courses 100% remote. I avoided my favorite hiking trails, as they were simply too crowded for my comfort level. No birthday gatherings either. 

I will likely be spending Christmas alone. There is a possibility my family will get together outside around a fire pit, however, the average high temperature in December is 41 and the low is 23. My parents are 70 years old. It will be brief and non-traditional. 

I am doing everything in my power to keep my little school safe and open. And it’s exhausting. We’ve already had 3 Covid scares among our program; luckily, everyone’s tests came back negative. 

Here is what gets me… When I see folks on social media associated with the preschool, being… well, ‘social.’ I feel scared. I feel angry. I feel discounted. I feel envious. I feel like our school being open is not valued. Why do these people get to spend time with friends? Why are they in enclosed spaces, unmasked with others? 

Yesterday one of the preschoolers shared when Covid is gone, her cousins will move here. I said when Covid is gone, I will hug my parents and my dear friends. 

We are all in this together. It takes one case, ONE, to shut down our program for at least two weeks. 

Perhaps I am feeling sorry for myself. There are so many experiencing it much worse. No-one close to me has contracted Covid that we know of – a friend’s father, a partner’s grandmother, and a colleague’s daughter. I am fortunate. I want to keep it that way.

I am taking this seriously. I want to stay open. I want to do my job. Take it seriously too. Wear a damn mask.

I am an out lesbian who owns a progressive preschool and a college student has lodged a bias complaint against me for failing to include LGBTQ families in my lectures. 

I am an LGBTQ family. 

My University sent me resources on “Family Equality: Advancing Equality for LGBTQ Families.” I don’t need suggestions on ‘advancing equality.’ It’s been a personal and professional fight for me for over 20 years. We need resources on how allies can help us advance equality. We need to help students advocate for themselves by talking openly with members of the community they claim to be fighting for. 

My daily practices involve gender-neutral language. I change children’s books to make the protagonist female. We talk about ‘snow-people’ instead of ‘snow-men.’ I give teddy bears two moms. When children make comments like, “We have 3 girls at this table,” I follow-up with them about they ‘know’ there are 3 girls at the table. We don’t know someone feels like a girl in their hearts and in their minds unless we ask them. I don’t even refer to the children as “boys and girls.” 

What is most upsetting (okay, a hell of a lot of this is upsetting), is that the student chose not to talk to me. The student did not choose to leave feedback in their midpoint check-in. The student did not include it in their course evaluation. They submitted a formal bias complaint with the University that is now a part of my record. In the record of someone who teaches workshops like:

• Exploring Anti-bias Curriculum 
• Constructive & Critical Conversations about Diversity & Culture in ECE 
• Talking with Young Children about Marriage Equality 
• Embracing Gender Diversity in Early Childhood 
• Let’s Talk About Gender 

This is in the record of an educator who supported two preschool children and their families through a social transition of their children’s gender. This is in the record of a person who readily let a preschool family leave her program without notice because they didn’t want their child to know gender is a social construct. 

Do you know what happens to college instructors who are members of minoritized groups who actively and regularly highlight that in-group membership? We get accused of having an ‘agenda’ and trying to indoctrinate students. An agenda for being myself. 

My college students are repeatedly exposed to my ire about ‘gender reveal parties,’ as they do not tell us anything about the gender of a child. We don’t know a person’s gender unless they tell us, something a fetus can hardly do. They are truly “sex parties,” something that always gets a chuckle from students, but something they remember and makes an impact on their understanding of the differences between sex and gender. 

Half of my students are using a 2016 edition of the text, and the others are using a 2021 version of the text. The 2016 edition does not address children who are born intersex and the 2021 version has three sentences dedicated to it.  In the time of pandemic teaching, I did not address this. There are many things in the textbook that we do not cover in lecture, but can be read about in the text: the development of shyness and sociability, PKU, Chronic Villus Sampling, and so on. Is the absence of information bias? What is the metric for representation? 

In Human Sexuality (another class I teach), we go into great detail exploring the lives of those born intersex, the history of mistreatment folks have endured, and the various outcomes for those born intersex. We watch videos, write reflections, and discuss. In a class covering prenatal development through middle childhood in ten weeks in a pandemic, we do not address everything. This class is not Human Sexuality, but my feminist lens permeates all of the classes I teach. Gender is interwoven into the fabric of classes like Families in Poverty, Family Violence & Neglect, human development courses, and preschool practicums.

So, I ask, what is the answer? Rainbow PowerPoint slides? Every slide includes same-sex parents? My slides ALREADY have same-sex parents, coupled hetero parents, single parents, parenting grandparents, and so on.  In the slides with adults in them, the majority are Black, Asian, or Latina, with the exception of the old, White male theorists that lay the foundation of Human Development theory. We can’t assume gender in the pictures because we do not know the people in them. I guess the photos of “two men and a baby” weren’t clear enough? “HELLO! THESE ARE TWO MEN PLAYING WITH A BABY! I THINK THE MEN ARE IN LOVE AND HAVE SEX TOGETHER!” 

If the student had waited, she would see we do discuss gender fluidity in young children, LGBTQ parenting, how to talk with young children about gender diversity, and a sharing of my favorite books for young children on LGTBTQ families. 

I am an educator who uses phrases like “developmental differences.” An educator who corrects students when they label development as ‘normal’ or use phrases like “sexual preference.”  I am an educator who uses person-first language. I am not biased against the group I am in. Other people express bias toward my group. 

Imagine sending a faculty member in a wheelchair information on using less ablest language or offering feedback to a Black professor on how to be less racist in the classroom. You can’t imagine it because it is so blatantly ridiculous.

This is NOT ally-ship. This feels like gaslighting. I’ve gone through all of my lectures, second guessing myself. What did I do? What did I say?  Everything is recorded now. This student has filed a complaint against an established expert in the field, who is also a member of minoritized group for whom she claims to be advocating. This is not education. This is not growth. She has filed a bias report against one of the most progressive instructors at the University. How is this even helpful? How does this make me feel safe? 

Featuring special guest blogger: Stefany Cunningham, B.S. (Areas of study include kinesiology, early childhood development & education, and psychology)

Young children learn through play; it’s imperative this play be taken seriously. The play itself shouldn’t be taken seriously, but the quantity of unstructured play opportunities should be taken seriously. There is a long list of learning opportunities found in each learning domain that children acquire when they are provided with unstructured outdoor play opportunities. In this blog post, we will explore perceptual-motor skills. 

According to Kostelnik, Soderman, Whiren, and Rupiper, authors of Developmentally Appropriate Curriculum: Best Practices in Early Childhood Education (2015), perceptual-motor skills are, “movement activities that lead to academic or cognitive outcomes” (p. 400). Children integrate sensory information from all sensory systems as they interact with and explore their environment. This sensory information gets sent to the brain where the child will then make a decision on what to do next. Then, with a little motor planning, the child will carry out their next movement based on the sensory information given to them. Kostelnik, Soderman, Whiren, and Rupiper (2015) discussed five important aspects of perceptual motor development:

Balance 

There are two components of balance: Static and dynamic. Static balance is practiced while holding a posture without movement (for example, standing on one foot). Dynamic balance is holding a posture while moving (for example, hopping over a log on one foot). Children acquire the ability to balance both statically and dynamically as they walk across a log or brick wall, hop from one rock to another, or explore movement on a variety of unstable surfaces (such as gravel or mud). 

Spatial Awareness 

Spatial awareness is an understanding of one’s environment in relation to one’s body. Spatial awareness helps children avoid colliding with structures or objects (and other people) while running. It also helps them decide how to safely maneuver their way through a cave or obstacle course. To understand spatial awareness, children need to be provided with opportunities to explore diverse environments. They need to run into things, fall down, and get stuck! Spatial awareness also helps with fine motor tasks, such as writing and manipulating objects. 

Figure-Ground Perception

Figure-ground perception involves being able to distinguish a foreground from its background, which typically requires visual and auditory perception skills. Hide- and-seek is a fantastic opportunity for children to practice figure-ground perception. Not only are children scanning their environment and processing visual foreground and background information, but they are also trying to separate background auditory input from giggles!

Temporal Awareness

Speed and timing is a complex relationship that takes time to understand. It remains, however, an important aspect of perceptual-motor development and can be fostered with unstructured outdoor play. For example, hearing one’s footsteps while running, dropping objects from different heights, or attempting to catch a ball are all experiences that foster temporal awareness. 

Body and Directional Awareness 

Body awareness is knowledge of human anatomy and physiology, while body relationship awareness takes this knowledge of human anatomy and physiology and incorporates, “roles that children create with their bodies, such as copying, leading/following, meeting/parting, passing, and acting in unison” (Kostelnik, Soderman, Whiren, & Rupiper, 2015, p. 403). Just about any gross motor activity fosters body awareness and body relationship awareness, but providing children with opportunities to make their own decisions regarding body movement (unstructured play), will provide children with a deeper understanding that carries across environments. Structured activities such as “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” are great for human anatomy identification, but children gain a deeper understanding of anatomy, physiology, and human movement when they are provided with opportunities to problem solve independently (For example, “How can I move my body so I can get on top of that huge rock?”). 

Directional awareness is applying location concepts such as backward, forward, near, far up, and down during movement activities. The opportunities to explore directional awareness during unstructured play are endless. An activity as simple as catching a ball fosters directional awareness (“That ball is going to fly over me. I better run backward to catch it!”). 

Unstructured outdoor play is critical for physical development. As one can see by analyzing these perceptual-motor skills, unstructured outdoor play is critical for cognitive development as well. Furthermore, most children love unstructured outdoor play. While kiddos are engaging in unstructured outdoor play, they will get dirty, they will practice evaluating risks, and they may get hurt. These are all valuable learning experiences; valuable learning experiences that will foster their physical and cognitive development. 

Resources 
Kostelnik, M. J.,  Soderman, A. K., Whiren, A. P., &  Rupiper, M. L. (2015). Developmentally appropriate curriculum: Best practices in early childhood education (6th ed., pp. 400-403). Pearson Inc.